Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The success of friends

Defeated. That would be the best word to describe how I have felt over the past few days. To put it succinctly, Danny is not potty trained. Not even close. And so, after far too much angst, I slapped a pull-up on his little behind yesterday afternoon and called it quits on my efforts.

When I woke up this morning, I felt the strangest mixture of relief and disappointment. I was so relieved that I could carry on with my usual schedule, go on outings, and most importantly not follow Danny's every move, waiting to pounce on the beginnings of an accident. But I was also really disappointed that I had failed, or chosen to give up. Part of me considered trying for just one more day. When I reviewed the events of the previous days in my mind, though, I recognized that the likelihood of any semblance of success was infinitesimal, whereas the probability that I would blow a gasket was sky high.

So instead Danny and I spent the better part of our morning with Amy and Parker. Along with Jennifer P. (and of course Tim), Amy bore the brunt of my disproportionate frustrations with the potty training. It was the rational, at times soothing words of the three of them that convinced me that perhaps I did not need to continue on this Bataan Death March. In the absence of family here in Atlanta, friends like Amy and Jennifer have become a much-needed and much-loved support network (not to mention source for a lot of fun).

The same is true for our children, who are truly growing up together. Danny and Parker have known each other since in utero! So it has been with great pleasure that Amy and I have witnessed the two of them become giggling, occasionally trouble-brewing buddies. Danny does not have a brother, so it makes me very happy to see that at an early age he is developing friendships to fill that superhero, sword-swinging, truck-loving void.

I may have temporarily failed to potty train Danny (John Rosemond, please forgive me!). But I have succeeded many times over in making wonderful friends, and I am confident that I am training my children to do the same.